Spiritual Conversation: Perspective Questions

People may not believe in Jesus because they have never been given that option. Maybe they have only grown up with the broader story of our culture which says, "follow your heart."

Some people see the world through a different lens than we do, and it is good for us to lend our perspective.

Now, people say not to talk to people or give them advice during their pains, and this is somewhat true. However, there is a difference between judging someone or trying to avoid painful conversations and actually having deep and meaningful conversations. There are so many people who are waiting for a brave person to just talk to them about the hard things, and having worked with uninsured patients and cancer patients for a few years now, I can tell you that for a fact people appreciate someone who will have these talks with them.

Let's say that someone has broken up with a significant other. Remember, that you already have a basis of friendship as mentioned in earlier posts. You can join with them in saying "s/he was a terrible girl/boyfriend". You can say, "you just need to get out there and find another one". You can say, "everything works to the good of those who love the Lord". But, those are probably not very helpful. The more helpful thing may be to first ask about it, how it makes them feel, and what they think the best thing to do now is. Offer perspectives through questions: "What do you think God might be trying to do/say in this situation?" "Where do you find your ultimate satisfaction?" "How do you find the right woman/man?"

These are questions that begin to open perspectives and assuage people's inner defenses. They allow people to start thinking in a bigger picture about a situation that often blinds people to other concerns. Think about it: who thinks about the big picture when something tragic happens to them? No, we think about the tragic thing and how it has effected us and our own situation. But questions take the blinders off and help people to start seeing that there is a story to their life that is being written day by day, and it's leading somewhere.

Ask to pray with them, and talk directly to Jesus with them present and about their situation. Let them see that you actually believe Jesus is alive, and let that be present in your prayer "language". Ask for Jesus to be with them, to speak to them and to give them new purpose in Him. Let them experience the presence of the living Jesus. That is enough for the moment. If they want more, let them accept him. More on that "acceptance" later.
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Religious word of the day - revival. Revival is a church culture thing, meant to be as a gathering to renew and refresh the faith of the congregation. Sometimes you might hear it called a "tent revival", meaning a revival in a big tent to accommodate larger crowds that a church building can do. Often famous or flagrant speakers are called in to preach. This is not a practice shown in New Testament Christianity, but rather is an outgrowth of a church culture phenomenon called the Great Awakening that dates back to the 1700s.